trouble at work

Okay, so this is my first entry, and already it is about some problems in the office. Well, guess what? I did have a pretty nice blog and I deleted it because when I went home, I didn't really feel like writing a happy journal. I write journals when I'm sad (and lonely) anyway. Like when I was in France for homestay, I wrote things in my diary like crazy since I didn't really have anything else to do. No no, I am not a loner. I had lots of friends there and I actually did lots of things, but I had more spare times that I usually have in my hometown (Jakarta), so I wrote.

And I've side-tripped from my original plan on opening this blog.

Yeah! Trouble at work!

You see, I work for this big five star diamond hotel (we earned that diamond thing, we didn't buy that diamond thing, unlike many other hotels), in the communications department.

In my job, I am expected to be able to do multiple things: designing, writing press releases, building and maintaining relationships with the press, and photography.

The salary's good (which is too much for me since I feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile). And the things I did have been... quite shitty. I mean, I am kind of good in writing press releases and doing some crappy designing stuffs, and today's been well over a month since my first day, and I just got this assignment to take photos of the upper level managers.

Guess what? I did take photos, but those photos were... sooooo bad that my boss went beserk on me.

Can't blame her though. I mean, my superior (who is also more superior in handling the SLR digital camera) instructed me to use this speed with this aperture and all that schnitzits. So I did. And the outcome was darn too bright photos. And we had to retouch the whole stuff.

And I also can't blame my superior because he was trying to help and I was too daft to actually try to be proactive and fix the goddamn aperture / speed thing. I did do it in the end (the last two persons I took was quite okay and my boss said that one of them was good, which did nothing to my feeling blue because she was obviously mad at me and disappointed at my job. UGH!)

So here I am, at 02.23 in the morning, have been mercilessly trying to crack the code of blogspot (been done nicely, I guess) and I'm finally able to type away my grudge.

Oh oh, and the shitzy thing is, you know, I just got my first salary, right? And I was ready to spend it because today's a public holiday (islamic holiday called Isra Mi'raj, don't really know what it is about). I was sooo ready to spend it but then my mood is completely ruined.

I can't go on a shopping spree on a (large) sum of money from my so-called salary because I don't think I'm worth it (since I did a crappy job).

So I'm gonna wait till Saturday (yes, this darned hotel makes the employees go to work on Saturdays! But only half day), to see whether the mood and emotion of my boss (which will also affect my mood and emotion) have changed. And I mean positively. I hope that all's forgiven and I'm ready to dazzle them with my talent.

Wait, WHAT TALENT?

Oh well, I'm gonna need some wine so I can sleep peacefully sans nightmare.

Ciao.