heart on a stick

We've finished the two-day-extravagant journey and we had a lot of fun and I even met a new friend! She's a friend of one of my best friends from church.

Anyway, I've put up the photos at my Yahoo! Photos page (hint: you can find my ID at my blogspot profile page). Look for the pictures under the title "Dufan" (that's the short for "Dunia Fantasi").

And when we were done, as usual, as the designated driver, I dropped off my friends at wherever's convenient to them.

Okay, so I actually have to tell a story. I have two friends from church. They're like my siblings. A girl, he's called L, and a boy named B (as in the crackers). We met during the confirmation class in 2001, in which I was the president of the class. Yay!

Anyway, B's gay and he's been on and off relationships. And he just found this really nice (and cute) guy and they've been doing really good. And I mean really, really good.

L's got a boyfriend (or two, or several, I don't know. Can you imagine that she's only 21 and she's a maniacal playgirl? Talk about toying with guys).

And this girl I talked about recently is Ls friend (or cousin?) her name is F. I think she's now going through a relationship with a guy who just turned out to be gay (watch out girls! Oh yeah, I so hate guys who're gutless to admit his sexuality. I'm bitter on this and I'm proud of it).

So we went to the Safari Garden place, L with her boyfriend (his name is R), B sending messages (and obviously happy) with his boyfriend, I don't really know about F, but I think she's feeling bitter about her relationship.

And then there was me.

Independent, self-absorbed, fresh from a wild sex adventure, nouveau-rich (with my own income. My dad's filthy rich but that's Dad's money. I did spend it a lot, though). Okay, I'm being a bitch again. I love being a bitch.

Where were we... oh yeah, I was typing about my qualities.

Yes, independent. Too independent, actually. You know, it's been a year since I got involved in a relationship and it's been too long that I've even forgotten how it felt.

And I did make stupid mistakes somewhere along the way (which probably caused the break-up, or more likely me getting dumped) and now that it's been a year, I've forgotten what went wrong!

So right now I'm scared to make a new relationship. I don't know where to start, I'm too lazy to start, but somewhere in there... I want to have a relationship.

I want to, but I don't know how.

And then it struck me...

B was very cynical about having relationships... And then he found the very guy. The perfect guy.

And you know what? I keep showing up jealousy, but I don't think it's real. I think it's more like a decoy, so they won't know that I'm really happy inside. I mean, I have a reputation to maintain (the cynical Feline).

You know what I feel inside?

I feel... glad. I really do. I mean, now I know that even true love exists for those who are the most cynical towards it.

And one more thing. When I was driving alone, a thought occured to me. Well, more like a prayer. I prayed and I hoped that nothing bad would happen to B's relationship. I mean, he was crushed, he was heart-broken, he was lost.

And now he's found his Mr. Right. And he's in love, they're in love, they're happy.

I prayed that nothing bad would happen to them and their relationship, because it would hurt B to death. And it would erase the last specs of hope that I am hanging on to with dear life.

The hope of finding true love.

Love, schlove. I'm out of here.

The illustration is a simple illustration made with Adobe Illustrator CS2. It took me only about 3 minutes (bragging again). It's called "Heart on A Stick".

I don't know where I got that inspiration. I was going to post something about true love and I began looking for images like the sacred heart, golden heart, to frozen heart. I didn't find any image I see fit, so I decided to create one.

I hope you like it. Heart on a stick probably symbolizes me. Skinny as a stick, with a heart lollipop.